Leaving the Capital by the Jinguang Gate — Grief over the Past
English translation and interpretation are being reviewed.
西郊胡正繁。
至今残破胆，
应有未招魂。
近侍归京邑，
移官岂至尊。
无才日衰老，
驻马望千门。
English translation
By this road I once returned to allegiance, when the western suburbs swarmed with Tartars.
Even now my heart is shattered with terror, there must be souls never summoned home.
I served near the throne, and came back to the capital, how could this transfer be the sovereign's will?
Untalented, daily I grow older, I rein in my horse and gaze at the thousand gates.
Meaning
In those years I went by the road of the Golden Light Gate to join the court at Fengxiang; all around the western outskirts of Chang'an the rebel armies of An and Shi were in turmoil.
Even now, when I think of it, my heart still trembles, and some have not yet recovered their senses and still live in fear.
I had lately been appointed Reminder of the Left and had come back to the capital region; then I was demoted to be an officer of Huazhou — could such an order really have come from the emperor?
Let it be; this mediocre talent of mine grows older day by day and my hair turns gray. I take leave of Chang'an and rein in my horse to look back at the thousand gates and the eaves of the palaces.
Background
Read the background
During the An Lushan rebellion Du Fu was seized by the rebels and taken under guard to Chang'an. In the second year of Zhide (757) he slipped out of the city by the Golden Light Gate, the western gate of Chang'an, and fled by back roads to Fengxiang to present himself to Emperor Suzong, who appointed him left remembrancer. The following year (the first year of Qianyuan, 758) he gave offense by submitting a memorial in defense of his friend Fang Guan and was demoted to be the adjutant for judicial affairs of Hua prefecture; as it happened, he again left the city by the Golden Light Gate. The author, weighing the past against the present and overwhelmed with sorrow, wrote this poem.